Green Day - Father of All
Released February 7th, 2020
Billie Joe Armstrong, Mike Dirnt, Tre Cool
Genre: Rock / Pop Punk
Pre-Intro
Hey everyone, sorry for that shitty review last time- I figured I'd make a good one today. Also I'm dropping a rule I used to have. I used to say I'd only review an album after listening to it 3 times, that's going to stop today because there are albums I really want to listen to and review, but I just don't physically have the time to sit down and listen for 3 times. So sorry if I review one of your favourite albums and I don't give it the respect it deserves. You can call me out for it in the comments, and I may adjust my review.
Intro
2020 was an awful year for us all, and we all said "well, it can't get any worse, can it?" Green Day says "hold my beer". They dropped this stinky fart of an album on us, as if the air wasn't toxic enough 3 years ago. This album is easily their worst album of all time. This shit is probably the worst thing they could have released, and honestly it might ruin their careers. We'll see when the next album comes out whether they stand in the spotlight again or the trash permanently.
Thoughts & Feelings?
This album makes me feel like I'm listening to an old mans mid life crisis, and he thinks that by making songs that sound like generic beats from the 70's is going to turn time back. I'm like bro the fuck? This shit aint gonna work. Like some sort of weird ass plot to an old movie about time travel.
It's such a fucking shame that this album sucked, because I remember they came out with Uno, Dos, Tres and that was shit and everyone thought Green Day was done- then they came out with Revolution Radio and all of a sudden they were back. It was an exciting time to be a Green Day fan in 2016-2018. Then they came out with Father of All (the single) and I was like eek... yikers. Then they came out with Fire, Ready, Aim and I was like well... at least it wasn't as bad, so I'm a little hyped again. I think the next to release was Take the Money and Crawl, which definitely isn't as bad. I would even say I kind of like that song- but then the full album dropped like a big stinking flaming shit on your doorstep. It's such a fucking shame.
I am the biggest Green Day stan in the world, but I hate this album so fucking much. This is AWFUL. I hate everything about this album. The music, the vocals, the guitar, the bass, the drums, the artwork, the style, everything. There's only one true song on this album- the FINAL song. You waited till the last second to drop a good song? Fuck off.
I remember when this album dropped, everyone thought it was a joke. There was a rumour going around that this album was a fake, and the REAL album was going to drop in like a month. Well a month went by and we still had the sour taste of shit in our mouths. Such a fucking shame this album was so bad. There's NO life in this album. There's no sexy guitar riffs or anything it's just cookie cutter songs.
Smash or Pass?
Father of All - Pass. This song honestly sounds like shit. What the fuck are you doing Billie? What are these vocals? The only redeeming quality about this one is the chorus. I HATE what he's doing with his voice.I kind of like the chorus but that's it- nothing else about this song. I'd even say I almost hate this song.
Fire, Ready, Aim - Pass. Again, the vocals are pretty dogshit in this one. I hate how processed everything sounds. I want the quality of everything to go down. This one isn't as bad as Father of All, but it would probably never go in my playlist. I just feel my voice hurting if I try to sing this one. Yeah honestly this song is pretty water.
Oh Yeah! - Pass. I don't remember anything about this song. This song is the most forgettable dog water on planet earth. There is almost nothing redeeming about this one. This song fucking sucks.
Meet Me on the Roof - Pass. This fucking sucks too. All these songs are so FUCKING FORGETTABLE. I hate this, it doesn't sound at ALL like punk rock. I have NOTHING to say about this album. It FUCKING SUCKS.
I Was a Teenage Teenager - Pass. I'm just getting more mad by the song. THIS SONG FUCKING SUCKS. It's AWFUL. We're really scraping the bottom of the barrel here boys, aren't we? This shit is so annoying and forgettable. This song sounds like a copy and paste template song.
Stab You in the Heart - Pass. Even with potential, there's still something ruining all of these songs. Billie's voice. It just ruins every song on this album. I hate this song because it's almost an OKAY song, but it's so fucking copy and paste from others and try to make it your own. This shit is awful. I never want to listen to this song ever again for as long as I live.
Sugar Youth - Pass. This song has POTENTIAL, but it doesn't live up to anything worth listening to. This one is ALMOST a good song but it just falls so flat. It's ALMOST a smash, but not quite.
Junkies on a High - Pass. This is probably the most offensive song on the album to me. It check-marks every single thing I hate about this album. It tries too fucking hard to be something it's not. This is also the slowest fucking song I've ever heard in my life, it's so fucking boring. If I ever have trouble sleeping, I'd put this on- but it would probably piss me off more than put me to bed. God FUCKING dammit.
Take the Money and Crawl - Smash. Honestly this song isn't terrible, unlike everything above. This song at least has some good moments. That opening guitar intro is pretty good. The vocals aren't the WORST I've heard (on this album). I would even say I kind of enjoy it. This song is a glimmer of hope in this pit of feces. Has some funny fucking lyrics too.
Graffitia - SMAAASSSHHH. Finally, some good fucking music. This song is easily the best on the album. It's not even that GREAT of a song, it's just a good song. Finally a good song on a shit album, here. This has everything it needs. Sexy guitar, sexy vocals, sexy riffs, sexy vibes. Everything on this song works great. This one just wants to make me dance. The little breakdown is pretty cool too, I don't mind it at all. Easily the best song on the album. I hope the next album takes elements from THIS song, and none of the others.
Conclusion
Maybe I'm reading too far into things- but maybe they made a shit album on purpose, that way the next album will be the heaviest fucking thing Green Day has ever produced. I fucking DOUBT IT, but let's hope. This album sucked, DON'T listen to it. It's not worth the waste of your time. Go listen to literally ANYTHING Green Day before this album.
RANK: D-
Post-Conclusion
Hey everyone, for those of you who are waiting for me to review albums you requested, not a problem- those are coming up soon. I just needed to make the announcement that I can't listen to them 3 times, I just don't have enough time in my day to commit to 1 album 3 times. So those reviews are coming up.
Thank you all, love you all, hope you all are having a stellar Wednesday.
- Sharky
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