Descendants - Milo Goes to College
Released September 4th, 1982
Milo Aukerman, Tony Lombardo, Frank Navetta, Bill Stevenson
Genre: Punk rock
Suggested by Sharky
Pre-Intro
Before I start this review I just want to give a huge thanks to a couple people that have been reading the blog and letting me know their thoughts and having discussions with me. I greatly appreciate my good friends Jake, Aiden, Elise, and Joey for giving some of these blog posts a read. Appreciate all you guys, just wanted to say a big thanks.
Also as of me writing this review (It's Thursday), the blog is sitting at a comfortable 990 views in total. Almost 1000 people have at least checked out the site and I find that amazing. By the time this goes up, it'll have crossed 1000 so just wanted to give a huge thanks, THANK YOU FOR 1000 VIEWS EVERYONE. I'm not a big numbers guy, I just do this for fun mostly so I just wanted to give a thank you very much. It's not easy writing these reviews sometimes, but it makes it all worth it when a single person sits down to read for a bit. Now let's get into the fun.
Intro
You ALL know I am a big punk guy. I must make a confession however... I have never listened to this album. SHOCKER. This album is one of the most influential punk albums of the 80's, and I am ashamed to have never listened to it. Descendants are legendary in the punk scene, so let's see what they're all about.
Thoughts & Feelings?
This album feels like I got inside a phone booth and accidentally time traveled to the 80's, but I'm at the skate park and everyone's going crazy skating around and going crazy. Total absolute party. I kind of just accept it like yep this is my life now let's fucking go. Idk man don't ask me to elaborate further.
This album and Descendants are legendary, so it only makes sense that I needed to come around to check it out eventually. To be fair though this isn't my era of music. I was more of a 90's to 2000's punk kid, obviously.
This album is VERY FAST, and VERY SHORT. Each song is less than 2 minutes long and it's pure punk rock action the entire way through. You need to really love punk rock to appreciate this album, so go ahead and do it. It won't take you very long because this is the shortest album I've ever reviewed to be honest.
Smash or Pass?
Myage - SMASH. Holy FUCKING BASS BABY, holy fucking intro riff too. That shit is AWESOME. I have absolutely heard this song but couldn't remember until now. This is pure punk rock, makes complete sense. Dude the bass is SO fucking good on this song. The guitar also sounds raw as fuck which is absolutely awesome to hear. Yeah everything works on this song. I absolutely would mosh to this song, 10/10.
I Wanna Be A Bear - Smash. Another fucking fast ass action paced loud bass punk rock song. This song is fucking weird as FUCK though. Also short as FUCK. I can appreciate this song because it's amazing punk rock but I wouldn't actively listen to it. It's actually fucking hilarious though.
I'm Not A Loser - SMASH. Hell yeah this is what the fuck is up. Short, sweet, and to the point. Another fast action punk rock song with a lot of swearing. It's amazing. Not perfect but definitely great.
Parents - SMASH. Shoutout to bass again. This shit is so fucking angsty teenage anger, it's fucking hilarious. I don't even think the band is younger than 20 in this album, let me verify. 19, so I was just barely one off. This song is great.
Tony Age - SMASH. All these songs are so fucking short it's hilarious. There was that one meme that was like "Oh you don't like this punk song? Great- well sit through it for 30 seconds and you'll hear the next one. Oh, you like this metal song? Great, IT'S 10 MINUTES LONG." Fucking hilarious. Yeah this is exactly that. Great fast short punk song amazing.
M-16 - SMASH. This is definitely my favourite so far besides Myage. This one is just a bit groovier and sounds better than anything so far. It's too bad it's FUCKING 43 SECONDS LONG. JESUS christ hahahahaha.
I'm Not A Punk - SMASH. What the hell did these guys do during concerts? Just play like the ENTIRE album?? Hilarious though, this song is another straight bang. It may say they're not a punk but let me tell you, this absolutely is.
Catalina - SMASH. Holy fuck a song longer than a minute?? Holy shit who are these guys. This song is fucking GREAT though. This literally sounds like fucking Suicidal Tendencies right now it's amazing. I love this fucking song, this is my new favourite besides Myage.
Suburban Home - SMASH. Hahahaha what the fuck. I LOVE THIS FUCKING SONG. This is my new favourite besides Myage. This song is fucking AWESOME. This is exactly what punk rock is and should be, we even get a little bit a solo in there that's fucking crazy.
Statue Of Liberty - SMASH. For some reason the vocals are REALLY not processed on this one, it almost sounds like a live song. I don't really give a fuck though it sounds great. Another amazing song. Yeah no other comments, this song fucking rocks.
Kabuki Girl - SMASH. Holy fuck this song rocks immediately. It's hard to say if I like this one more than Suburban Home, cause this one is REALLY fucking great. MAN this is tricky. I really fucking love this one but I like the nuances of Suburban Home better. So far, these two are tied. This one just sounds the most complete.
Marriage - Smash. Oh dear. The vocals are kinda BAD in this song. I won't judge it too much though it's only the beginning that is off. Good job boys, still a great song. This is a very strange song but it still sounds great. Absolutely mwah. If I ever get a girlfriend (I probably won't), I'm gonna play her this song and she's gonna be like "what the fuck, Sharky?"
Hope - SMASH. Back to bangin let's go. OH MAN I really like this one. This one is catchy as fuck. I have a tough time saying anything about this song I'm just vibing and hanging out. It's a great fucking punk song.
Bikeage - SMASH. Let's go kickass guitar, kickass bass. This is THE LONGEST SONG ON THE ALBUM, clocking in at an absolutely INSANE 2:12. Holy fuck that might be too much for me. Just kidding this song IS FUCKING AWESOME. Its so fucking catchy, it's such a great vibe this is some summer vibes right here. Honestly it's tricky for me to say because I REALLY LOVE THIS ONE. FUCKKK.
Jean Is Dead - SMASH. Sad this fucking album is over but we're ending it off strong. This song is fucking great. It's definitely not my favourite by far but it's fucking great and I am happy listening.
Conclusion
If you are in the mood for a 22 MINUTE ALBUM, this is for you. Holy fuck every song is so god damn short, but it makes complete sense. Nuts to butts punk songs for a full 22 minutes, that's great. All of these songs are great and have amazing value. This band is PURE PUNK ROCK, and it's fucking fantastic. For what these boys did back in the 80's, I'm extremely thankful. There's no such thing as Green Day, Billy Talent, Royal Blood, fucking any of these guys without the OGs of punk, Ramones, Descendents, Black Flag, Suicidal Tendencies, etc.
This album is amazing, I'm sad it's so short but it makes complete sense because they're just short fast ass punk songs. Absolutely MWAH, this is what I need in my life, and this is why I love punk rock.
RANK: A
What do you guys think? Show some respect for your elders! Leave some love in the comments or feel free to shit on me for loving shit punk rock music. Love you all, thanks again for 1000 views. Mwah mwah.
- Sharky
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