Released June 20th, 2023
Bradley Hall
Genre: Thrash metal
Intro
Good morning everyone, good morning, happy Wednesday. This album review is going to be a little wonky for 2 reasons. First reason is because I'm doing a LITERAL JOKE album, which I think would be funny- and the second reason is my computer isn't working today, so I'm literally going to have to find a way to upload this review through my phone before 10am. Jesus christ does that stress me out lmao. Anyway yeah, this album is a parody album released by Bradley Hall, and I thought it would be fun to check out. So here we go.
Thoughts & Feelings?
This album makes me feel like I’m living in hell, in an alternative reality where Metallica are fucking… stupid. Hahahaha. This album literally is like alternate Metallica except they’re just fucking idiots and sing about stupid shit. I don’t know man, don't ask me to elaborate further.
Hopefully you guys enjoy this stupid ass review. You all know me, I don’t take life too seriously so I like to do reviews like this kind pretty often. So for complete context (I went into this during the first song but I figured I should give actual complete context here)- Bradley Hall is a comedic guitar oriented YouTuber and he did a video challenge where he tried to make a parody Metallica album in less than 24 hours. This is the result.
Smash or Pass?
For Whom My Ass Calls - SMASH. Like some sort of weird alternative reality where For Whom the Bell Tolls is completely wrong. Pretty sexy original riff from Bradley after the slight intro. I wish I had lyrics to this fucking song cause I have no IDEA what Bradley is singing here. LMAAOOO. What the FUCK. Jesus fucking christ that shit is fucking hilarious. Anyway for context here, Bradley used a voice changer to try and make it sound like James. Oh yeah he also wrote and recorded this entire album in 24 hours. It DEFINITELY has that classic Metallica tone though, there are a lot of riffs that you could tell me are obscure Metallica forgotten riffs and I'd completely believe it. Solo sounds like a Kirk solo, absolutely amazing. Nice harmonized section at the end, 10/10.
Load (My Plate Up) - SMAAASSHHHH. What the FUCK lmao. This song is about food. That's all you really need to know. Definitely some groovy ass riffs here. This song is an obvious parody of Fuel and it's fucking hilarious. I spaced out during this song but I came back right in time for the kickass wah solo. Pretty neat there. I did hear “make us shit” in there at one point. Hilarious.
Dickrash - SMMMAAAAASSSHHHH. This is one I was really hoping to listen to. It’s classic Kill ‘Em All sounding and it’s fucking awesome. The theme of this song is way too complex for my little pea brain, so I won’t go into explaining it. This song is fast and thrashy as fuck it’s perfect. There is a REALLY REALLY cool breakdown that I wasn’t expecting to be so cool, but it is. I fucking loved this one but I’m sad it went by so fucking quick.
I Am The Bean - SMASH. I am not super into this one just because it’s slow and not super crazy fast or cool or anything. Sorry Mr. Bradley bean boi, this one is just okay.
Un4given - SMMMMMMAAAAAAASSSSSHHHHHH. This is easily the best song on the album it’s fucking great. The riff sounds EXACTLY like Fight Fire With Fire and that’s cool to hear. I’m pretty sure if I recall in the video, the lyrics of this song are just the mixed and combined lyrics to the last 3 Unforgiven songs. Holy fuck that Unforgiven horn building up into the fart makes me audible laugh at work. Hilarious. There’s a GREAT wah interlude which is super super fucking cool I love to hear that. Holy production quality in some of these sections.
Sourdough, Rise! - SMMMAAASSHHH. Easily my favourite song title off this album. I think it’s absolutely hilarious. “DOUGH” instead of GO HAHAAHHAAH. Holy fuck that’s pure gold. I unfortunately cannot hear or understand ANY of the lyrics but it sounds like a great fucking song regardless. Hilarious.
Enter Password - SMASH. What the FUCK is this song. Is this song about James losing his password to his laptop? HAHAHA. Hilarious. This is so good. Really chuggy and black album vibe. Makes complete sense honestly. Really sick breakdown midway through, love to hear that. Really sick harmonized section afterwards, really love how many of those are in this album. Super neat, super great, great songs.
Conclusion
This album is ABSOLUTELY silly. It’s supposed to be super silly and dumb. It’s not meant to be taken seriously, so please don’t. Is this an absolute masterpiece of tomfoolery that will make me cry my eyes out? No. Is it a great work of art that both makes fun of and embraces the life of Metallica? Absolutely. That’s exactly what you want it to be. Bradley Hall is absolutely talented and it’s easy to see through an album like this. Keep it up Bean man. Much love.
Also really sorry if any formatting and shit is screwed up, like I said I had to do this review on my phone today. Oh well. Hopefully it'll be normal and fixed by tomorrow hopefully. Love you all.
RANK: A
What are your guys' thoughts? Do you HATE this album? I wouldn’t blame you, but I think it’s fucking hilarious. Good job Bradley. Anyway you know what to do. Leave your comments below.
- Sharky
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