The Funeral Portrait - Greetings From Suffocate City
Released September 13, 2024
Lee Jennings, Cody Weissinger, Caleb Freihaut, Robert Weston, Homer Umbanhower
Genre: Emo, Post-Hardcore, Country Pop
Intro
Holy shit I'm doing my job. Literally this time as HOPEFULLY (not for you guys but I do not care) This will be the start of the monetized era of PRP and I can make some money off this shitty little passion project that has been blowing the fuck up for some reason. Anyways I apologize for the lack of well anything, not just on this site but from me ANYWHERE. Those close to me know this year has fucking sucked and only keeps getting worse, so I have not had the time to do anything especially not yell at music. However I have recently gotten through the thing killing my free time and ability to review, so it is with great pleasure I make a review... of a band I fucking HATED. (key word. HATED.)
Thoughts & Feelings
As stated above, I fucking HATED this band. I hated their first album, I hated the promotional materials, and I hated the live show. But something stood out during their set that I wasn't expecting, the music sounded great. I didn't recognize a single song they played which wasn't too shocking as I avoided this band like a plague, but I was very surprised by the quality of the songs and the new tone this band had. SO despite not enjoying their set much at all (not their fault just not my type of show, especially after DED just played and put me in pit mode) I decided to listen to the album and holy FUCK is this project amazing. This album makes me feel like I fell into an alternate dimension where instead of Gerard Way seeing 9/11 and starting MCR, a goth kid watched Brokeback Mountain and decided to make queer country emo. That's about the ONLY way I can describe this project so enough ranting and let's get into the review.
Smash Or Pass?
Suffocate City- SSSSSSSSMMMMMAAAAAAAASSSSSHHHHHHH. THIS IS HOW YOU START AN ALBUM. The chorus is SO fucking catchy and the instrumental is incredible. HI SPENCER WHY DOES THE NEW ICE NINE KILLS SUCK SO MUCH?? Yes this song has a feature from Spencer of INK, which adds so much to an already great song. This song is an amazing mix of Emo, Metalcore, and the unique country tone vocals that Lee does masterfully. Excellent opening to the album, and DEFINITELY helped peak my interest in this project.
Blood Mother- SSMMMASSHH. HOLY COUNTRY??? This is a fucking country song with metalcore instrumentals and its surprisingly good. Lee's vocals are incredible and the whole vibe of the song gives that great southern feeling that some people love in music. This is a song I would recommend to anyone who likes country or country pop but wants to get into punk/metal. THAT BASS TONE HOLY GOD.
Doom and Gloom- SMASH. A song that I kinda forgot about when I was making the track list here. Not that its bad but there is MUCH better on here. This is a far more "emo" song than the others, but it still hits. I swear Lee's vocals get better the further the album goes, and they probably do considering the absolute BANGER that's next.
Holy Water- SSSSSSSMMMMMMMAAAAAASSSSSSHHHHHHH. HOLY FUCKING COUNTRY BANGHER. If country sounded like this I wouldn't hate it. Lee is SO FUCKING GOOD ON THIS SONG. The choir after the chorus adds even more of that country vibe, not even mentioning the lyrics which SCREAM country. (not literal screaming for once this band rarely screams) This song is great, and is an even better "welcome to punk" for country fans.
Dark Thoughts- SSSSSSSSMMMMMMMMMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHH*. HOLY FUCK THIS SONG IS AMAZING. This is the song that made me question why I hated this band so much (outside of Lee running around the stage like a kid on meth that wasn't my favorite). The country emo vibes are at a max here and the instrumental is INCREDIBLE. However. The asterisk. The version of the song on the album has a feature from Danny of Asking Alexandria (one of my GOAT bands). And it's.... terrible. Danny sounds god awful here and drags the whole song down with him. Which begs the question, why in the fuck did the band release a single version without him then put this shit on the album??? The version WITHOUT Danny is an INSTANT gold medal but this version honestly lacks a lot because of him. So for that I have to dock points and take away this songs medal eligibility because of it. Sucks because I love AA and this song, but Danny why didn't you stay retired you fuck.
You're So Ugly When You Cry- SSSSSSSMMMMMMMMAAAAAAAASSSHH. Another classical emo banger. Makes more sense once you see the feature. Bert of The Used. Another band I absolutely LOVE, and unlike the last one, he adds SO MUCH. This song is so fucking good its insane. The chorus is catchy, the verses have such a good cadence its just fun. HOLY GUITAR SOLO GOD DAMN. This song has more screaming than the others (no surprise though with Bert being a great screamer) so maybe hold off on this one for showing new people.
Chernobyl- SSMAASHH. A very metalcore sounding song, almost none of that emo country feel we've had, and honestly it's something this song would benefit from. This song sounds a bit too generic, and for a band with such a unique sound it sucks to see. Again, FAR from bad but just not as good as what I've seen. HOLY FUCKING BREAKDOWN I FORGOT ABOUT THAT GOD DAMN.
Dopamine- SSMMASSHH. A great emotional ballad song. A perfect tone splitter, and brings back that country feel with these vocals again. Amazing guitar solo on this one. This is just a good saddish balla- HOLY SCREAM FROM HELL WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT????? There was just a random ass scream that was hilarious. Great song.
Voodoo Doll- SSSSSSMMMAAASSSSHHHH. This song starts off nice and slow and calm then CHORUS HITS AND THIS IS A POP PUNK BANGER. Definitely the most pop sound so far, which isn't too shocking with Eva Under Fire playing a part in this track. This song is amazing. HOLY SOLO THIS ONES GREAT TOO. Perfect song to follow up the last one.
Happier Than You- SSMMASSHH. Weird vocal effect to start then INSTRUMENTAL HITS AND DAMN THIS IS GOOD. The vocal effect is still going but ends after like 50 seconds. HOLY CHUGGING. Oh that was a tease the chorus is Pop Pun- THERES THE HEAVY GUITAR. Again very country feeling if you pay attention to the vocals. Great song again.
Alien- SSMMMMAAAASSSSHH. Another slowish more emo song. The instrumental is "metal" enough but just lite enough to give this song the tone it really needed. Another great track to build into the closing few songs of the album. This band has a huge focus on acceptance and self acceptance, and this song is the peak of that message on this album.
Generation Psycho- SSSSMMMMMMMAAAAAASSSSSHHHHHH. MOST METALCORE SONG ON THE ALBUM FOR SURE. This song is SO FUCKING FUN. Never thought I would have anything good at ALL to say about this band, let alone be praising one of their albums this much. Such good wordplay on the vocals to make a fun cadence for the vocals that just make this song so fun, and the little details like chimes in the chorus add so much.
Stay Weird- SSSMMASSHH. I take it back this song is the "be yourself" song of the album. A pop punk anthem about being a weird loser freak (like everyone who reads these let's be honest). Honestly this song is a PERFECT Halloween party song (outside of the one "fuck") and honestly I'm mad I didn't know about it for that night. once again this song is just a fun, up-beat, pop punk anthem and despite the albums high in the rankings I do find myself loving songs like this occasionally, and this song definitely found its way into that rotation. Honorary "I'm queer without fear" award.
Hearse For Two- SSSSMMMMASSSHH. An emo ballad to end this incredible project, and its fucking PERFECT. That country feeling, the fun pop punk aspects, and the metal aspects that this band uses are all mixed into a song that perfectly wraps this album up in one 3:30 song. The chorus is once again catchy and easy to remember. This song is a great love song, and can be interpreted in so many ways. Amazing close to an amazing album.
Conclusion
This album is fucking AMAZING. And honestly if it wasn't for one huge fuck up this would be the site's first "S" (not quite S+ even with the good version) but instead with that shitty version of Dark Thoughts it doesnt get the honor of having its own rank. It does however become the highest rated non S+ album in site history. Huge movement from a band I legitimately dreaded seeing live when they opened for In This Moment (they still sucked my opinion on that doesn't change) to a VERY high rank. Good job.
RANK: A+
Well that does it for the review. Like I said I am working to monetize the site. This does not mean I will be covering every inch in ads, only a few here and there so I get something out of my efforts. If you use and adblock I don't care if you block them from me anyways, I will still do these with or without profit because I really do love being able to write my opinions to a place that people can see, and I hope that these reviews show new music to people who would have never heard of these bands or projects. With that being said thank you all so much for reading, the most popular review is nearing 2000 views and that's just insane to me that I have that much reach from a desk in my basement with some fancy headphones and time to kill. This site has gotten me through some dark times and this continues to be one of my best outlets for feelings and emotions, so expect more reviews in the coming weeks. Once again thanks for reading and as always any and all feedback is welcome and appreciated.
-Jake (JunosBestFriend)
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